Hiding from the Kids in My Prayer Closet by Jessica Kastner

Author:Jessica Kastner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Christian parenting books;Christian books for women;Christian books for mothers;Raising Christian children;Parenting advice;Biblical parenting advice;I don’t like being a mom;I don’t want to be a mom anymore
Publisher: David C. Cook
Published: 2017-05-22T14:56:17+00:00

This Is What Happens

When You’ve Given

Up Perfection

Chapter 18

The Case of the Strong-Willed:

Child: I Think My Quiver Is Full

When I was a single, newly Christian mom, a church matriarch took me under her wing and insisted I attend her group studying the “Growing Kids God’s Way” curriculum. I found myself surrounded by similarly wide-eyed parents equipped with our workbooks and determination to raise obedient children who would bloom in our parenting garden of glory. I can still hear the haunting echoes of her five kids locked in their basement as we studied discipline and child-rearing techniques during our ninety-minute sessions. I remember thinking all the fear mongering about how to handle disobedience and willfulness was a bit much. Have a little faith, people.

But I knew no better. My first was a sweet, docile child who would pull a U-turn at the mere mention of a spanking. I grew him God’s way, and clearly I was a master gardener. So I’d be that mom at the library pitying the obviously inept mother lassoing her wild boar of an offspring to get him out the door. I’d watch the parents argue and debate with their kids through stores, just wishing I could help them put their feet down and show some God-given authority.

Then I had my second child, and all my inward mocking came back to haunt me. Eli took his first breath, looked around, and thought, I shall rule these minions. My first stayed in his crib ’til age three. Eli at eighteen months was jumping out and storming his door barricade like a French revolutionist. My first would ask, “How many veggies should I eat today, Mommy?” Eli still refuses to wear underwear, based on the self-realized truth that it’s a needless garment. He is seven.

Anyone questioning at this point whether they might have a strong-willed child, let me assure you, you do not. You’d know if you did. I had no idea a human being weighing fewer than thirty pounds could exert such self-assertion and determination. It’s not even that he’s badly behaved. He’s just … independent (my coping mechanism is denial). Nothing, not a thing on this planet, is simple with a willful one. I would ask Eli to sit next to me and enjoy a castle-sized ice cream with Batman himself, and he’d furrow his brow and insist on a different flavor. I try to look at it in a positive light, hoping God will mold this obstinacy into great leadership skills someday.

This is all very embarrassing behavior, especially in Christian circles, where having control over your children seems to be an outward statement of Christ’s reign in your home. There’s no better way to gain looks of pity from your parenting peers than your kid screaming “I’m not going upstairs, EVER!” in the middle of Tuesday night’s life group. They say they’re praying for you, but we know what they’re thinking: Maybe if she put as much work into parenting as she does

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